HATE: Bumper Stickers

Here's a tip, World: Your car doesn't have a sense of humor. Your car isn't political. Your car hates you. Why? Because your car was crafted out of cold steal and mechanical pieces to serve the purpose of getting you from one place to another. That's all. It wasn't created to serve as your "opinion mobile." Think of it this way--the person behind you doesn't know you. Apparently though you want us to know a little bit about you. Are these little sayings and cutesy shitoffs really what you want us to think? If my whole existence was summed up as "My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter" I would shoot myself. And just so you know, my boss is a Doug.

LOVE: Lego Indiana Jones for PSP

I am very tired today because I was up last night playing Lego Indiana Jones on my PSP. This game is hilarious. I don't want to give too much away because people deserve all the surprises for themselves. It's a lot better than lego star wars because you can pick up almost anything laying around and use it as a weapon. I killed a nazi soldier with a banana! Today has been terrible at work because I just want to go home and play the Temple of Doom episode. Life is so difficult.

HATE: FOX/Fringe

I was on the website for So You Think You Can Dance and I saw this banner for the Fall show "Fringe." I actually had to look twice because I thought it was an ad for the new x-files movie at first.

I can't believe this crap! It's the x-files! And worse, J.J. Abrams is behind this who I kinda liked until now. Come up with your own premise. If this series succeeds it will only be because people miss the x-files. Case in point, look at this:

Look familiar? Both series were made by Fox. Coincidence?

LOVE: My boyfriend, Brad

I love my boyfriend, Brad. No, this isn't a picture of Brad. This is a picture of David Duchovny. Hey Brad, have you read my blog yet? I know you're really busy at your uber job writing code and designing web pages and stuff but if you find this post guess what! You rock my socks! Also, you are way hotter than David.

LOVE: Freschetta's New Pizza Amore

Last night I had the delight of trying the new pizza amore from freschetta. I already knew freschetta made the best frozen pizza but waaaaa! They now preslice it for you too! Oh the God of Laziness has blessed this girl with a delicious alternative to using a knife. Thank you Gluttony! And the crust was all buttery or something because man it was good. I had the 6 cheese kind, not the one pictured but I can't wait for the leftovers later. What you think I'm a pig and can eat a whole pizza in one sitting? Pish posh.

HATE: DHL

Here's the problem. DHL couldn't compete with UPS and FedEx so they decided to step in and steal everyone's packages and then, instead of delivering them to you, they deliver them to the post office. What's the point of existing at all DHL? The post office was getting packages fine (sort of) before you decided to roll up your red and yellow truck and intercept. You can track your package with DHL until they give it to the post office and then it's good luck! Hope you get it soon! When a company ships your package using DHL, they are saying "I hate you." Hey, guess who uses DHL? Urban Outfitters.

MEGA HATE: QuarkXPress

Anyone who has worked as a graphic designer in the past 10 years knows that there is InDesign, published by Adobe and QuarkXPress, published by Satan. I have some clients that insist that we keep using Quark even though we charge them twice as much because that's how much a pain in the ass it is to use. It takes twice as long. So, right now I am working in Quark and thinking to myself, "I really hate Quark I should put that in the blog." I needed a good screencap though and viola! What you see here should not be possible in any kind of desktop publishing software. There is text that appears to be highlighted that really isn't which makes formatting the text incredibly confusing. You can't highlight like this on any planet except Planet Quark. Quark also does not like to save documents or utilize fonts properly. Or create large files, or color manage, or use eps files with document thumbnails etc etc. What it does like to do is give me all the more reason to keep popping Aleve from inside my desk drawer. It's right there next to the shotgun and rolaids.

LOVE: Gamestop; HATE: UO

Gamestop is the only place left where you can actually go into a store and walk out with more money than when you entered. This is what happened. I made an online purchase with a clothing store that shall go unnamed (screw that it was urban outfitters!!). They charged me twice. My account overdrafted during the memorial day weekend when nothing could be done. I called UO, they said they would have someone from Finance help me by 4 that day. Not good enough because I knew they had messed up and just had to push a button. And I was hungry. I called the bank. They said they would lift the charge if I could do a 3-way with UO. Not as fun as it sounds. I called UO and told them about the 3-way. They said they couldn't do that type of call (what did you think I was talking about?). Then they said there was no one there from finance. What do you mean? The last person told me finance was handling the problem! After I called her out on her lie she said she would make a note in my account. Ok. Neat. I then called the bank back and just like that this new person at the bank took the extra $___.___ off my account. That said, my account still decided to go into the negatives today because of overdraft fees. So I went to gamestop.

I traded in 2 games and got enough money to buy a sandwich at quiznos, cat food, and milk and have some left over. Gamestop almost didn't have enough money in the register ($28!) because everyone pays by credit card. No shit.

HATE: People who edit audio without headphones

I work in an office that does various multimedia projects. We have an editor/whateverhedoes guy (who's really cool) but likes to edit his audio tracks without headphones. And lucky me, today it's some guy with a British accent talking about hotels. Over and over and over. It is better than when he edits in Spanish but I can't hear myself think! Close your door or get some headphones! Arg!

LOVE: Orbit Strawberry Mint

Orbit has pissed me off in the past (Mint Mojito anyone?) but this limited edition flavor makes me so happy. It's more strawberry than mint and is just fandiddlytastic.

LOVE: Lego Harley Quinn

I have been a lego fan for a while but this is the coolest minifigure to date. It's Harley Quinn! She only comes in 1 set so far (which my boyfriend acquired for me) so get her fast! Also equally as cool, the Batman Tumbler set which just came out.

LOVE: My boyfriend's brownies

Holy shit those were good.

LOVE: Classico Alfredo Sauce

This sauce is the most fantastic shit you can put on anything. I kid you not. If you're broke all you need is a can of classico 4 cheese alfredo and something else edible and you have yourself a meal of kings. Go get some.

HATE: Gatorade

Why do I keep buying and drinking this shit? It gives me the worst headache in the world (a gatorache) and then what do I do? I put it in the fridge...then drink it again later. Hmm I'm thirsty but I don't want a substantial beverage...hey I still have some gatorade left! Sonofabitch!! And I don't care what flavors they come up with they all taste like fluoride.